Sad News

We got sad news this week. The oncologist looked at Brennan's chest x-ray and found cancer in his lungs and in his liver. He has a rare form of sarcoma that does spread. It is likely that his cancer began internally and manifested itself in the tumors that appeared on his head and neck later on. There's no treatment that has been shown to work on this type of cancer. From everything we've been told and read, there's nothing we can do to slow down or stop this cancer. It is terminal, and it is aggressive. It will take Brennan's life. Those words hurt a lot, considering how much we've been through with him. We adopted Brennan in April 2003, about 6 months after we got married. He was about 1 year old, and the "pet of the week" on the local news station in Lubbock, where we were living at the time. He sat on the news desk with the saddest but sweetest look in his eyes. When we adopted him, he was in bad shape. He had ticks and tick fever. It was apparent that he had been abused and his back legs were injured when he was a puppy. Together, we nursed him back to health, and he became our companion. Brennan goes where we go - to visit our parents, to the cabin in Angel Fire - basically anywhere we can go that does not require a plane ride. He has been such a strong and vibrant dog, and I think we both assumed that he'd be a part of our life for the next 12 to 15 years. Instead, we are enjoying his last days with him before he even turns 7 years old. This has hit both of us pretty hard.

The vet has prescribed him pain medication and told us to enjoy the days we have left with him. His quality of life is still fairly good. He's definitely more tired (probably due to both the pain medication and the cancer), but he's still eating and playing and walking. We are trying to live in the moment with him, but that's not always easy. Of course, no one can tell us how much time he has left. We know that with this type of cancer, we are probably looking at weeks, maybe months, but a year or more is unlikely. I can't even tell you how much I have cried over this. It is a pain that I haven't experienced before. I don't want Brennan to leave us. I don't want to know what life is going to be like without hearing him shake the charms on his collar, hearing him squeeze the squeaker on one of his 20 toys, or being greeted by him at the door after a long day at work. He's our best buddy, and it is tough to think about all these things. I do know that he's taught us a lot over the last six years, and I am very thankful that I've had the opportunity to spend the last six years with him.

I know in my heart that David and I have given Brennan a good life. I wish we had more years to give him even more love, but we both feel blessed to have spent the last six years with Brennan in our lives. As for now, we are both trying to be in the moment with Brennan and take this good advice:

"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion"~Unknown