P-A-I-N-F-U-L 18

I knew I was going to regret slacking off last week. If only my guilt would have motivated me to get off my butt and run, Saturday’s 18-miler may not have been so painful.

I am thrilled that I finished, but I have never had a run quite like that (at least that I can remember). I did well through about mile 12, but from then on, the run can be described in no other way for me except PAINFUL. My knees hurt, my hips hurt, my body hurt. I have never wanted a run to end so badly.

Fortunately, the weather was great—overcast, breezy, and in the 60s. Had it been sunny and hot, David would have had to pick me up and carry me to the car, because I would have refused to move another step. Frankly, he almost had to do this despite the fact that I was such a nice day.

Some how, some way, I made myself finish. I walked a lot. I stopped and stretched several times. Everything was just out of kilter. But I finished. I showed myself I could finish, no matter how badly I wanted to stop. However, after it was over, I was really down on myself. Why am I doing this? What is the point? And on and on…

David was so supportive, despite my negative attitude. At my request, he pushed ahead and finished and then met me to run in the last quarter of a mile. With his help, I toughed it out and finished. Of course, the $200 I spent on our registrations for San Diego was also helpful. Nothing motivates me like avoiding the waste of money.

Evaluating the run after a few days, I have determined that it was mainly a mental, rather than physical, breakdown. I am stiff, but not any more sore than usual. I think most of what made the run so bad was my state of mind. I was worried about the length of the run before we started because I had slacked off so much the week before. I say this because on Saturday I thought I might have averaged around a 13-minute pace. However, I actually averaged 11:44. That’s slow for me, but not nearly as bad as it seemed at the time. I felt like I was running in quicksand from miles 12 to 19, but it turned out better than I thought.

I never had a breakdown like this while training for White Rock last year, and I am thankful it happened on a training run rather than the actual marathon, and I am thankful that I finished. I hope I don’t have another run like that one for a long, long, time.